When you're gone

You're my easy way out,
but I'm not used to choosing easy ways out!
I'm well known for going through hardships and challenging the easiest..
might be perceived as a pain lover...but I'm a believer

My internal struggles are never ending,
peace can't find its way through to my mind or heart....
except when I'm with you
But it's a different kind of peace, that I become too ignorant to understand and explain...but let me try though...

It's the peace of stabilized heart beats, smooth breath taking, relaxed body, and guilt free feelings...it's even more

With you my heart's nude..yes it is.

But it's not too long when things happen that trigger wild waves of every good and bad thought into me...

Like a bottle of soda that has been shaked too strong and can;t find any opening to be released,
Like a child that keeps crying loud too much in hopes to get heard or that any one would understand him, yet there's no one around,
Like a prisoner who's been unfairly judged, and is hitting his cell's wall too hard, he watns to get out, he can't bear the unjustice...but no one can do him anything,
Like a helium balloon that slipped from the kid's hand; it kept dizzling among the clouds, with no place to go...
Like a tornado that's non-stopping...

That's me,
when you're gone