You

Every night I open the photo I have for you
And I smile because I imagine you're smiling to me..not the camera
I imagine you were thinking if I'll like your photo when I see it
I imagine you were imaging us taking this photo together

I let your photo be the last thing I look at before sleeping
And the first to look at when I wake up
And I surely dream of you when I'm asleep
Because I can't fall asleep until I imagine myself sleeping in your arms,
My head on your chest and feel it

And when the morning comes and I have a day to spend
I can smell you even when you’re not around
May be because you're always crossing my mind
I can feel your touch and savor your taste
I can hear your voice through the darkest silence

I’m never really alone, because you’re always with me
I can’t let you go, I need you like the heart needs the beats
Like the sky needs the sun, like the bird needs the wings

It’s been so long when it’s like just yesterday
It’s been so painful when it’s like just the sweetest candy
My feelings are like the roaring sea,
Waves don’t stop pushing itself to the shore,
In need to settle on the beach and take a breath,
And you’re pulling me calmly in the midst of the lonely sea
In the deepest mazes, that seem to have no end point

For me, people are you and everyone else is not you
And you is what I consistently and badly want

Silence

Silence is a great teacher, if only we give ourselves the chance to listen well to it
It is a great relief, when we learn how to give ourselves to it
It is an eye opener to closed arenas within us, if we have the ability to use it
It is a best friend as soon as we get used to it
It is an enemy when devil's thoughts come to ruin it
It is a shock if you're expecting someone who never shows to break it
It is a space for more confusion or more clarity
It is the practice for connecting with the self
It is the skill of the wise
It is a tool for multiple messages
It is a double-edged weapon, that if we can't use it well, might kill us

Still

I caught myself smiling today..
I figured out that you crossed my mind..
You crossed it with an image when we were still together..

I can still see your smile, when seeing me and telling me you miss me..
I can still smell your odour, as if I'm still in your arms..
I can still hear that voice, the most peaceful tone I've ever heard..
I can feel you from distances still

I've moved on, just thought to tell you..
But you might have not noticed that you're still keeping me..
You've kept me a long time ago..
May be we don't talk anymore..but you're still hanging on..
As it was not the physical connection more than the spiritual one..
Our spirits are hanging on still..

I wonder why you grabbed me, when one day you had to leave me..
I wonder why you didn't hold on to me when I turned my back and went away..
I wonder why you're accompanying others that won't love you the same way..
I wonder if I can bet that you'll never meet someone like me again..
I still wonder because the answers I found were too tough to realize..
If I surrender to my answers, You would be a devil to me..
I'm not able to see you a devil..
With all your flaws, you're my guardian still

I'll keep you in my memory..staying still
I'll avoid you in reality..hoping still

Out of Reasons

Every time I miss you, I think if you miss me as well?..
I check your updates to see you indulged like hell..

I remember watching my phone, waiting for a reply on my sms..
Staying awake all night to listen to what you say and confess..

You saw my calls as interfering and not as missing you..
My visits when you're sick as demanding when I just wanted to be there beside you..

What I gave as unsatisfactory, over looking it was my biggest compromise..
I thought I believed all what you say, and then I could see some lies...

Accused me for my emotions, when it was what made me stand your flaws..
Was against my logical thinking, because it was the only reason to let you go...

Used honesty as your sword, to cut me and save yourself from blame...
Because you were sure my love for you, will let me accept the pain...

Deprived me from your sweet care unless you wanted something..
Then left me days hanging, sadly wondering what will tomorrow bring...

Showed me how to be a lady, and then killed the lady that evolved...
Pressed on my deepest buttons, then pretended you're not invovled...

I loved you with my heart, and you loved me, but was weaker than to admit...
Could create all the reasons to convince me that to me you can't commit...

Complained about the daily access, and our different life styles..
Forgot it was you who started, and who was offended by his own styles..

Hope you're now in the beloved hands, that would satisfy your aspirations..
Having no daily access issues, nor life styles and emotional complications..


I thought of why I miss you still? Couldn't find a reason...
I thought of why I love you still? Couldn't find a reason..
If only love needed reasons to exist..

Like a child...

‎Like a child you need me there, but you would leave me to play everywhere around.

Like a child you shower me with your tenderness, only when you need some candy

Like a child when you're in trouble, you run to me, seek my hug and cry without letting me know what went wrong

Like a child you might act and lie -innocently- to appear good in my eyes

Like a child you forget everything I did for you, once things don't turn out the way you want

Like a child you frown once I start asking for some order or shouting loud because you've been neglecting my requests for so long

Like a child and I like you, but I wouldn't choose to be your mum.

Neither Optimistic nor Pessimistic

It’s not extreme optimism, because your hopes can be broken...
It’s not extreme pessimism, because your soul needs hope to keep moving on...

It’s Optimistic Realism or Reality Optimisms.

It’s about finding that very fine line drawn between slipping behind what the soul dreams of –which might not be realistic- and surrendering to the reality –which compared to the soul’s dreams would be very depressing.


It’s about finding “HOPE” in “REALITY” and that is a skill.