Don't feed your ghosts-before they're too big

The little girl grew....
yes..everyone is a kind of immature at the begining of everything new no matter how old he is...

But it wasn't the girl only who grew....her ghosts grew with her..

Ghosts?
What ghosts?
Do you believe in such superstitions?

Yes I do. We do them and they do us.

Wait. WHat do you mean?

Hmmmmm....well,let me put it this way

I know so many people who fear failure, because they failed before...or who have been psychologically incapable, due to how their parents treated them when they were young, or who keep searching for the one they loved in every face that meets them, because they lost in a way or another, or who comsume too much control over things, because they're perfectionists, etc..

These people were fine one day till they got through one or more experience, the experience was there to let them only learn a new life lesson and then move on and live a better life....but it wasn't the case and this is what drives me today to say that every person has psychological issues so be ware!

But what happened?

Their ghosts prevented them from living a better life...ghosts are selfish, they live and don't let live...

We go through the experience, and a tiny small ghost is born inside us, unfortunately most people are stupid enough or weaker than that tiny ghost to not kill it when it's tiny...instead we keep feeding this ghost...we feed it every single time we think about it, or surrender to it...each time the ghost grow, we look at it, turn our backs and run and it grows, we think about it being a ghost and how much we're scared of it and it grows more, we talk about our ghost and how it's affecting our lives and it grows, we escape every new encounter that might get in touch with the ghost and it grows and its confidence in itself keeps boosting till one day we find the ghost bigger and older than us...till one day the ghost is taking control and deciding for us what and what not to go for or do....

The more their ghosts grew, the harder it was to kill them, because by that time they were stronger than us and by that time our self confidence evaporated infront of the ghost and we took ghosts as a fact that we need to live with and as part of ourselves...

Which is definitly nothing but some mental adjustments...again, not to face our ghosts!

These ghosts were their fears....the fears that kept being ensured evertime we refuse to believe that the best is yet to come, when we refuse to cross the fence and we collect all our courage to jump we find that the fence got higher so we sit beside it crying telling ourselves that we shouldn't have tried, we knew we're gonna fail...and it was all the matter of being late deciding to jump!

Does anyone know what weapons we can use when our ghosts are way to big for people to kill and when they become a source of noise and constant fear?

Setting that bird free just into another cage

When the young lady told her man how much she loved him, his piercing reaction came back to her after a long period of silence by telling her "You're too emotional"

The lady was not expecting it, she sat still, her eyes kept alternating between falling on the ground and falling into his eyes...she thought she sees something different,she thought her man is keeping something from her, she thought he'll say something afterwards...but he didn't

Keeping her silence and her fear of asking any elaborating or proofing questions so not to affect her ego or her position infront of him, tying her tears right to her pride..not letting them show, seeing her dream and her heart breaking into pieces again, receiving his words with a perforated paddle that they went straight to her previuos unpleasant experiences, she couldn't feel but rejected...and how ugly it is...

Dying for a sense of acceptance, she agreed to spend some more time with him....living some extra time in her illusion, giving it one extra trial to be the girl he might want...but since then she always knew she has to let go

She left and he left...

She left thinking about his word, as she used to take all his words and wisdom as stamped right testimonials. "Am I emotional?Do I need to be less emotional and more logical?" end of the day she didn't see herself wrong or mistaken..."if I'll follow my logic, then my logic tells I'm better off without any man. But it's love on the other hand that tells me to do the impossible, to take risks and break all the rules, to bear the drawback and embrace the mistakes. It's love that enables me to stand your bad breath in the morning, your snoring while sleeping, your impatience when hungry, your bad temper when you're back from work, your helplessness at the times of pain. If it's logic, it's telling I'm better off without a man."

"Don't claim I am emotional when I don't call you twice if you don't answer, when I don't act childish when you disappear for 10 days, when I don't keep nagging when you seem to be busy, when I am not insecured if you're not around, when I don't overload you with my rights, my needs or even my dreams, when I don't act needy when I think I have opportunity and when I don't ask you to come back if you dump me"

But all this remained bottled up in her chest. Like a bird prisoned in its cage not knowing how to get out. She's been afraid she would get it out because it might hurt her man's feelings or ego or even logic...she never wanted to see his image shaken...she knew she can hurt him in so many ways, yet she never felt she wanted revenge.

She left, trying to understand and absorb what happened!What brought her here! She felt stuck between two walls, she has to dig in the walls to move on.
She gathered her heart's broken pieces, that used to love truely, trying to mend it, trying to put the pieces together...is it ever gonna be the same?will it work again?

He left and left her a great gap to draw in, lots of question marks to seek answers for, and broken pieces to fix....may be searching for some other hearts to break and taking revenge of his past that never seemed to go along with his dreams.

Years pass, and the man's role was played by the young lady that grew into a mature dead hearted woman with every single man she met...she grew into the feminin copy of him

Where would she end at?where would he end at?where would fate throw them? time goes by just to reply with the answers...

Who knows?

Too much thinking, is too much draining...if not killing
Specially when it comes to these things we have no control over

It's too good because we're not entitled to act and it's too bad because patience is not an easy task...

Who knows what tomorrow's brining? Who knows if we're gonna make it to the next minute living? Who knows the wisdom behind things occuring? Who knows what's good being arranged for us and we don't see?...are these "asprinic" questions coming out of faith?or out of helplessness?or because faith is shown the most under severe helplessness condition?is it a hope for hoping?is it self defeat?

Created a "STOP" button to stop thinking..but couldn't apply it to feeling
Created a "Drop it" button for whatever that annoys me...but it gets broken every now and then
Created a "move on" button to move on no matter what sets me back...but the application reached this stage and errors spread around everywhere
Tried to reset but it was too late...
"Application lost and hardware damaged"