I opened my eyes today from one deep sleeping night...
I closed them again when I found out there's nothing too amuzing to do, nothing that really interests me to open my eyes and start the day...
They call this a depression symptom; when you have no interest to do anything and when you're not willing to live another day...and what would today bring? why today would be a different day?
Writing from the furthest and deepest area within, the area where each painful memory is usually thrown in hopes to be recycled into immunity for living, from the hut that was built within throughout the years of struggling. Like I've been running since a very long time ago, and I"m exhausted, there are no rest stops, there is no water, running towards what I want the most but what I want the most seems to be running too away from me! So I keep running and pushing myself to run even harder and faster so that may be I can catch it one day and I change direction when I find out that I might be wrong, mistaken or misdirected..I swear I don't insist on anything but the thing I want and I keep running and running and running...
Today I stopped running, today I decided I am not running anymore again, because I am tired...
Today I'm gonna sit down and relax and watch life...just WATCH. If it ain't getting better then at least I didn't exhaust myself for nothing. I'll put my heart into the freezer and my mind into one relaxing jacuzzi.
It's only me who matters; won't put extra loads on my shoulders, won't call for anymore slogans, won't go out of my track again, won't hope for anything more than what I have now and I won't hope it will last with me, because everything is going away one day and I ain't gonna stay here forever. Even you! and it pierces my chest. After letting everything down, I can't find myself letting go of one last wish if I ever had to live without you..may you forget me not.
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