Dressing well means too much to me...at least more than just wearing anything I find infront of eyes in the closet before I go down by 10 minutes.
Dressing means at least knowing what I'll be wearing tomorrow at work from the night before. This happens by trying 2 or more outfits in a time till I feel comfortable of the thing I'll be wearing. Definitly it might take some more effort if where I'm going is another place than work!
That shouldn't mean I care about the outside more than the inside, it just reflects my complicated character....but it's okay with me
Anyway, my pleasure tryng different outfits today was distracted by a silly cockroach...YES YIKES... summer is hot...insects try to escape the hot weather to better ones like that I have at my room...but I wasn't willing to share this cool temperatured room with any insects.
Of course the first few minutes were minutes of horror...I had to face it ALONE..my heart beats went faster and I felt I'm meeting the king of fears, like the one Mario has to kill at the last stage to be able to live with his princess happily everafter...poor Mario...but poor me now..what can I do with that little flying cockroach? How am I gonna get rid of it?
The cockroach reached the edge of a drawer and stood there for a couple of minuites (which is a long time at such a situation) and I stood there too...we weren't much different at that time. We were both thinking what to do next? As a human being I was supposed to be smarter, less scared and more quick at an action......but taht didn't happen. The cockroach flew ...that was when I understood it "FLIES TOO"...shiiit
we had a hot fight in the room; it flies and I run, it flies and I run then spray it with raid and filled the room with all the raid that was in the bottle...this made me think of how weak a human being is....I am afraid of a cockroach that is even smaller than my feet's smallest toe!! God!! Then I thought that finally something came across my fear from life...and I kept spraying and spraying till it dropped beside my bed, I saw it dying but I didn't stop spraying it..as if I was taking revenge or as if I was proving to myself that I'm stronger...or as if I was trying to combat my fear of life disgusing it in my fear from the cockroach...
I watched it as it dies...a sense of victory calmed me down, my heart beats went down to their normal rate again, but my mind didn't stop thinking "If I'm gonna think of every cockroch I meet that way, then I shouldn't really be asking life to be less complicated"
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