Still

I caught myself smiling today..
I figured out that you crossed my mind..
You crossed it with an image when we were still together..

I can still see your smile, when seeing me and telling me you miss me..
I can still smell your odour, as if I'm still in your arms..
I can still hear that voice, the most peaceful tone I've ever heard..
I can feel you from distances still

I've moved on, just thought to tell you..
But you might have not noticed that you're still keeping me..
You've kept me a long time ago..
May be we don't talk anymore..but you're still hanging on..
As it was not the physical connection more than the spiritual one..
Our spirits are hanging on still..

I wonder why you grabbed me, when one day you had to leave me..
I wonder why you didn't hold on to me when I turned my back and went away..
I wonder why you're accompanying others that won't love you the same way..
I wonder if I can bet that you'll never meet someone like me again..
I still wonder because the answers I found were too tough to realize..
If I surrender to my answers, You would be a devil to me..
I'm not able to see you a devil..
With all your flaws, you're my guardian still

I'll keep you in my memory..staying still
I'll avoid you in reality..hoping still

Out of Reasons

Every time I miss you, I think if you miss me as well?..
I check your updates to see you indulged like hell..

I remember watching my phone, waiting for a reply on my sms..
Staying awake all night to listen to what you say and confess..

You saw my calls as interfering and not as missing you..
My visits when you're sick as demanding when I just wanted to be there beside you..

What I gave as unsatisfactory, over looking it was my biggest compromise..
I thought I believed all what you say, and then I could see some lies...

Accused me for my emotions, when it was what made me stand your flaws..
Was against my logical thinking, because it was the only reason to let you go...

Used honesty as your sword, to cut me and save yourself from blame...
Because you were sure my love for you, will let me accept the pain...

Deprived me from your sweet care unless you wanted something..
Then left me days hanging, sadly wondering what will tomorrow bring...

Showed me how to be a lady, and then killed the lady that evolved...
Pressed on my deepest buttons, then pretended you're not invovled...

I loved you with my heart, and you loved me, but was weaker than to admit...
Could create all the reasons to convince me that to me you can't commit...

Complained about the daily access, and our different life styles..
Forgot it was you who started, and who was offended by his own styles..

Hope you're now in the beloved hands, that would satisfy your aspirations..
Having no daily access issues, nor life styles and emotional complications..


I thought of why I miss you still? Couldn't find a reason...
I thought of why I love you still? Couldn't find a reason..
If only love needed reasons to exist..

Like a child...

‎Like a child you need me there, but you would leave me to play everywhere around.

Like a child you shower me with your tenderness, only when you need some candy

Like a child when you're in trouble, you run to me, seek my hug and cry without letting me know what went wrong

Like a child you might act and lie -innocently- to appear good in my eyes

Like a child you forget everything I did for you, once things don't turn out the way you want

Like a child you frown once I start asking for some order or shouting loud because you've been neglecting my requests for so long

Like a child and I like you, but I wouldn't choose to be your mum.

Neither Optimistic nor Pessimistic

It’s not extreme optimism, because your hopes can be broken...
It’s not extreme pessimism, because your soul needs hope to keep moving on...

It’s Optimistic Realism or Reality Optimisms.

It’s about finding that very fine line drawn between slipping behind what the soul dreams of –which might not be realistic- and surrendering to the reality –which compared to the soul’s dreams would be very depressing.


It’s about finding “HOPE” in “REALITY” and that is a skill.

Life !

Life is strange when:
Your dearest friend becomes a stranger
Your source of peace becomes your greatest fear
Your loveliest dreams become your worst nightmares
Your guaranteed destination becomes unknown
Your smiles become your tears
Your tears become your laughter
Your enemies once become your refugee for good
Your beliefs become your obstacles
Your hardships become your lessons
Your hardest pain becomes one day the least pain
Your highest ambition becomes one day the easiest
It offers you one thing but should take away another thing
You don't accept except what's perfect and you end up having barely nothing
You let go of the things you want and they come back to you
and struggle hard for the things you're dying for and don't get them...

Life !

My Drive Through.

I don't want to live my future in my past,
I don't want the happy moments to move too fast,

I don't want to love out of desperation,
I don't want to start over without preparation,

I don't want to cry over who broke my heart,
I don't want to treasure who chose to be apart,

I don't want to look pale when I look at the mirror,
I don't want to keep running away out of horror,

I don't want to get tricked with another sweet word,
I don't want to forget how you hurt me by what was told,

I don't want to think of you first thing when I wake up,
I don't want to fall asleep while you're in my heart, locked up,


I don't want to..
...and that's my drive through.

Time for cleaning!

It's been along time since I visited this house. I can't even remember if I ever did!

I was unsure if the leys I have will open the house door, but I thought to give it a try...won't lose anything anyway.

It was opened...sound of the door opening was disturbing and i could immediately smell the dust.
How old?
How dark?
How cold?
How messy and chaoetic?
How haven't I ever noticed?
Why did I leave it all this time?

Oh, feels like nostalgia....memories drifting me away from the purpose I came in here, but in a way they make me feel good.

There are many good stuff in here, why wasn't I using them? why didn't I nurture them?

I can't miss this house anymore...I can't miss myself further.
It's time for cleaning the house....that one I have inside of me.