Friday, September 3, 2010

Setting that bird free just into another cage

When the young lady told her man how much she loved him, his piercing reaction came back to her after a long period of silence by telling her "You're too emotional"

The lady was not expecting it, she sat still, her eyes kept alternating between falling on the ground and falling into his eyes...she thought she sees something different,she thought her man is keeping something from her, she thought he'll say something afterwards...but he didn't

Keeping her silence and her fear of asking any elaborating or proofing questions so not to affect her ego or her position infront of him, tying her tears right to her pride..not letting them show, seeing her dream and her heart breaking into pieces again, receiving his words with a perforated paddle that they went straight to her previuos unpleasant experiences, she couldn't feel but rejected...and how ugly it is...

Dying for a sense of acceptance, she agreed to spend some more time with him....living some extra time in her illusion, giving it one extra trial to be the girl he might want...but since then she always knew she has to let go

She left and he left...

She left thinking about his word, as she used to take all his words and wisdom as stamped right testimonials. "Am I emotional?Do I need to be less emotional and more logical?" end of the day she didn't see herself wrong or mistaken..."if I'll follow my logic, then my logic tells I'm better off without any man. But it's love on the other hand that tells me to do the impossible, to take risks and break all the rules, to bear the drawback and embrace the mistakes. It's love that enables me to stand your bad breath in the morning, your snoring while sleeping, your impatience when hungry, your bad temper when you're back from work, your helplessness at the times of pain. If it's logic, it's telling I'm better off without a man."

"Don't claim I am emotional when I don't call you twice if you don't answer, when I don't act childish when you disappear for 10 days, when I don't keep nagging when you seem to be busy, when I am not insecured if you're not around, when I don't overload you with my rights, my needs or even my dreams, when I don't act needy when I think I have opportunity and when I don't ask you to come back if you dump me"

But all this remained bottled up in her chest. Like a bird prisoned in its cage not knowing how to get out. She's been afraid she would get it out because it might hurt her man's feelings or ego or even logic...she never wanted to see his image shaken...she knew she can hurt him in so many ways, yet she never felt she wanted revenge.

She left, trying to understand and absorb what happened!What brought her here! She felt stuck between two walls, she has to dig in the walls to move on.
She gathered her heart's broken pieces, that used to love truely, trying to mend it, trying to put the pieces together...is it ever gonna be the same?will it work again?

He left and left her a great gap to draw in, lots of question marks to seek answers for, and broken pieces to fix....may be searching for some other hearts to break and taking revenge of his past that never seemed to go along with his dreams.

Years pass, and the man's role was played by the young lady that grew into a mature dead hearted woman with every single man she met...she grew into the feminin copy of him

Where would she end at?where would he end at?where would fate throw them? time goes by just to reply with the answers...

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